All Is Grace

Today, I swept the kitchen. Repeatedly. Cut Rea’s hair. Sculpted stupid things. Cigars for an 80th birthday cake. Turquoise roses that might be the wrong color for a wedding cake. Whatever. More of the Iron Throne. Listened to Joe scream at more insurance people. Because OH MY GOSH, NY can’t get it right. Period. Got in my middle’s face about things for which she’s choosing to stand. Ate doritos and chocolate. Tried on the dress that’s going to be my mother-of-the-bride attire. Realized I want to lose 15 pounds before I wear it. No idea how to make that happen. Remembered the dress is the same color as my mom’s mother-of-the-bride dress at my first wedding. Crazy.
Rethought my color choice. Outcome of first marriage…not what I want for my daughter. Superstitious? Nah. Just…a little stitious.
Snuggled with the baby dog on the couch (what????).
Actually had pork chops and broccoli prepped for Bryson before he had to be at youth group at 5:30 tonight. The early departure time is always a challenge. Made chops and raw fries and broccoli for the rest of the crew.
Helped my oldest try on her wedding gown. In my living room. It fits like it was freaking MADE for her 30 weeks pregnant body. Praying it fits equally well in 8 weeks. If it doesn’t, I’m not above sewing her into it. I have a new sewing machine. I can totally do it.
Tonight I’m praying for my friend’s daughter’s interview at Starbucks. My best friend’s daughter’s yearbook deadline. My life friend’s family situation. My friend’s daughter as she goes without life-saving diabetes supplies. My husband’s digestion and respiration. My stress and anxiety levels. My unborn grandson’s development. My stupid ex (don’t ask why. I don’t know. God told me to do it, so I am. Makes me so mad, I want to spit, but there it is.). My daughter’s living situation. I’m praying that tomorrow, I get all of my freaking sculpting done. I’m praying that I can be a Christ-like example to my children of what it looks like to do hard things while having complete faith that God knows what I’m dealing with and loves me so much that he’s walking right next to me through all of it. I’m praying that I REMEMBER ALL OF THAT MYSELF.
So tired. Always so tired.
Hey, Michelle? Blog. Go do it. Perfectionism is a lie.