All Is Grace

there is this little part of me that really enjoys stirring up trouble.

it’s actually kind of funny to think that’s true, because i was always the good girl. always the one my parents didn’t have to worry about. my grades were above average, i didn’t push the boundaries, i didn’t break curfew or talk back (ok, mostly) or lie or cheat. i went to college when i graduated, almost never missed class, got my degree to teach little kids and pursued my masters. found a guy and married him, had my 3 children. i went to church, cleaned my house, paid my bills and my taxes, and worked hard. all the things good little Christian girls are supposed to do (for more things they do, see here (though that post has very little else to do with this one 😉 ).

then i went and got all controversial.

somebody asked me where Reasa would be going to school when she turned 5. and i said, “She won’t.”

and they said, “Oh. Well, kindergarten isn’t mandatory. But where will she go to first grade?”

and i said, “If all goes well, she won’t.”

now, you could rewind a little bit, and i could reference a couple of other mildly rebellious things i had done prior to all of this. a couple of biggies? i married my now-ex-husband (there’s so much to that story) after only knowing him for 8 months. that raised a lot of eyebrows when it happened (no, i wasn’t pregnant). not only that, but he was a truck driver, not a college grad, and our entire relationship was long-distance prior to the wedding. rebellious act #1 (oh, there were little points of rebellion before that…but…).

#2 i quit my job after Reasa was born and never went back. very few people i knew did that–either because they waited a lot longer than i did to have babies so it wasn’t even a consideration, or because they had new houses and new cars and were just making a name for themselves in their professions. speaking of raised eyebrows (or visibly shaking heads)…i got a lot of those. don’t get me wrong, i worked hard. but it was at home and from home–medical transcription on the computer in my non-heated back porch at 1 in the morning in the 800 square foot house with 2 kids in January? yep. you betcha. it didn’t pay all the bills, but it helped. and i was determined to make being a mom work. i got tons of support from the people i needed to support me…usually. but this was definitely a rebellious act, by the world’s standards.

it probably actually came as no surprise to people who knew me that i chose to homeschool my children. interestingly, i was shocked.

no, really. it was not in my long-term plan. honestly, even after i decided to do it, i figured it would just be until Bryson entered kindergarten. then he got to that age, and i thought…umm...i’m going to give the girls this individualized attention at the beginning of their schooling and then throw Bryson right into school? it kind of rolled into itself. suddenly, i had daughters entering middle school…and a 3rd grader. hehe.

ta daaaah.

i guess the thing about my rebellion is that…it always strikes me as fun after i’ve actually done the trouble-stirring. i consider the fact that my behavior could be seen as controversial in the moment, but work through the pros and cons, think and pray, and choose my course of action based upon all of that research. then i turn around and realize…oh. look at that: controversy. usually first in the form of a well-meaning family member saying something off-the-cuff, but totally are-you-completely-crazy? it’s turns into an opportunity to put my research to the test and help me decide how important this decision actually is to me. to argue my point with intelligence becomes…an exhilarating rush. even in the tough things to argue.

like my divorce. there was no intentional trouble-stirring involved in that decision. trust me. but boy…did i face the backlash of serious controversy in my circles. the thing is…if there had ever, in my life, been a time that i did my thinking/research/praying/soul-searching/wisdom-seeking, it was with that decision. and i responded to the people who boldly and vehemently questioned me with passion and purpose. but that is another blog post altogether. (yikes. the list is getting long.)

so when i entered the foray (and yes, that means attack, raid, incursion into enemy territory…i think it’s fitting) with schooling vs. homeschooling vs. unschooling…i expected controversy. i expected attacks. i’ve been there before…as an educator who decided to homeschool. as a mom who decided to spank her children for defiance. as a divorcee who chose to marry one of the few men she dated after her divorce…12 weeks after she met him. the thing is, i haven’t heard a whole lot of argument about all of this. actually, in researching unschooling, i haven’t read a whole lot of argument. because the only people who seem to have a problem with it are the people who don’t know anything about it whatsoever…or the people who want to turn it into a sensationalized calamity. in truth, unschooling is such an unknown that people just assume it’s children run amok. and i suppose it could look like it from the outside, especially from the perspective of those who are firmly ingrained in what society accepts as the norm. so maybe, instead of a whole lot of opposition, i’m going to get lots of questioning looks. “You’re doing what?” so maybe for a little while, instead of stirring up trouble, it’s going to look more like…making a valid case for unschooling. 

and maybe by the time the kids graduate and unschooling has been an overwhelming success in our home, and the issue has become something people actually know enough about to ask questions, either by watching my kids succeed or because people start seeing it as a valid and worthwhile pursuit…they won’t think it’s quite so controversial.

or maybe the whole adventure will turn into an epic failure by September and we’ll be back to traditional schooling before i even know it and all of this hullabaloo will have been for naught.

…but i seriously doubt it.

in the meantime, i’m brushing up on my intelligent conversation skills.