All Is Grace

so. i’ve been watching a lot of biggest loser lately. like…a really lot.

a really, really lot.

we’re talking 4 seasons worth. but i’m working backwards. it’s an excellent thing to “watch” while i cake, i’ve found…partly because i can mostly listen without having to catch anything more than just glimpses. partly because i believe in the program so strongly. partly because i love watching these amazingly strong people work through their amazingly commonplace issues and becoming better, physically, mentally, emotionally. and the before and afters…i’m such a sucker for those. i love seeing a woman go from 300 pounds down to 135 pounds. in six months. and to watch her live her life in joy is just…inspiring. 

i’m currently on season 11 and i have to say…i might not watch any of the other seasons after this one ends. some of the seasons are catty and drama-filled and ridiculous. i have a hard time watching some of the stories because…i just don’t buy them. but this season, the players have truly, earnestly become a family. right from the beginning, the teams really just sucked each other in. they defend each other. they believe in each other. they fight battles for each other and sacrifice themselves for people on their teams…or even not on their teams. i’m close to the end of the season (and i even know who wins, and have since week 2, and i’m still watching–i’m not a read-the-end-of-the-book-first kind of girl, so this is HUGE), and i can’t get enough of it. Olivia and Hannah were made for this show. i even follow their crazy, hilarious blog and newsletter now. i might be a little ridiculous.

(by the way…need some inspiration while you spend your allotted time on the treadmill? add the biggest loser on hulu on your kindle. it’s the way to go.)

i find myself completely inspired by the fact that these people started out insanely obese and have done something impossible: they have lost 75 pounds apiece (or more!) in two months. even the women. they are driven. motivated. laser-focused. yes, they are on a ranch with no jobs, no family responsibilities, and all they have to do is eat and lose weight. i realize these facts. yes, they have amazing personal trainers, incredible medical testing for the much-needed wake-up calls, and diets strictly detailed for them. but they also have HUNDREDS OF POUNDS TO LOSE. this is not an exaggeration. i know that many of them come home to regain their weight, or to simply stop losing. but some of them go on to motivate and inspire everyone around them. some of them become the at-home biggest loser. some of them go on to win the quarter of a million dollars and then teach everyone around them how to live the way they have chosen to live in a realistic, believable way.

i want to leave that kind of legacy. not just at the end of a six-month weight-loss experience, but the end of my life. my whole life. and right now. and all the points between right now and the end of my life. i want people to be able to look in on my life and think, “i want to live the way she lived.”

i have a lot of work to do. and it’s a lot more than just losing the 14 pounds my stupid thyroid has helped me gain. it’s a lot more than weight, period. 

my focus needs to change. 

now.