All Is Grace

All I did today was cake.
And ride my peloton for 16 miles.
And stress about the cakes I made because NO ONE I MADE THE CAKES FOR ACTUALLY SAW THEM TODAY WHEN I DELIVERED THEM AHHHHH.

I cried and yelled when I got home because I was starving from only eating an apple and a banana and buttercream by 4 pm and I hate my job and I don’t want to do it any more and I have to do it for 8 more months and amidst all that, every fiber of my being wonders if I shouldn’t just keep doing the stupid job because nothing else makes sense or feels right and I’m so exhausted by it that I can’t even think about what else I would do.

Whatever.

I want someone to listen to me talk about all my stupid things the way I listen to Joe talk about what’s going on in his business and Rea talk about her pregnancy and wedding plans and Laine talk about school and Harley and what she’s going to do in the fall and Bryce talk about school and Sarah and jobs…which is obviously so much more interesting and time-consuming than what I’m dealing with constantly right now. Obviously.

WHATEVER.

Currently sitting in the kitchen, finishing a premiere of a Hallmark Movie that was great (Message in a Bottle), listening to my daughter and her girlfriend talk LOUDLY OVER MY MOVIE, wishing my stupid computer would let me put pictures in this message (oh my gosh, for real…) and wanting to eat ALL THE THINGS.

I’m going to bed. So that I can get up at 6, ride my bike, and make coffee for 500 people and stress about the next two months of worship at church. I’m going to wear Jeans and a T-shirt and only mascara. So…there. The whole conservative Christian, if-you-love-Jesus-you-wear-your-best-Sunday-clothes-and-make-up-and-look-awesome thing can die in a hole.


I think I need more sleep.