All Is Grace

i attended camp every summer of my life from the age of six until after i graduated from college. at least three weeks of every summer. after freshman year at Houghton, it was 8. 8 weeks. as a tiny person, i went because my parents ran the teen camps, and i attended children’s camp on my own…a year early, even. when i wasn’t the right age for the camp i attended, i worked in the kitchen, spraying dishes, cutting veggies, doing kitchen laundry in an ages-old roller washer, earning a partial scholarship on the week of camp that corresponded with my age. i learned how to sleep on horrible mattresses, how many pairs of socks you need during a rainy week at Chambers,  which meals were the ones i would eat (and which ones were the ones i would choose cereal), how to re-route the creek that ran through the campgrounds, how to survive on coffee, how to sneak out after curfew without getting caught, how to stretch $5 for an entire week at the concession stand, and which security guys were likely to sleep on the job.

but i also learned who my friends were. i learned what a relationship didn’t look like (it didn’t look like a week at camp, then a few letters after).

i learned how to meet with God. i learned about worship and commitment. i learned that i didn’t need good hair, a hot shower, cool clothes, or dry towels to matter to people. at camp, i was someone (where at school, i was decidedly not). i loved my camp experiences, i loved the person i got to be for 3 weeks every summer. even now, i love my memories of that cherished place, those beloved people, and nearly every moment i spent there.

even the ones with a broken heart. even the ones with a smashed up shin. even the hours dripping with sweat as i washed dishes. i wouldn’t have my best friend were it not for Chambers Camp. i wouldn’t have had my first husband, and thereby…my children.

i wouldn’t know God the way i do right now.

i sent my kids to a very different camp today. one of them went a bit reluctantly (ok, i forced her. it is what it is.). i realize that camp is a completely different experience now, with cell phones and wifi and huge worship bands and set on a college campus, not a campground adjacent to a cow farm (yikes). but i know that they could meet God there. i know that they could find people who will turn out to be their dearest friends someday. i KNOW that they have the opportunity to make life-changing decisions and figure out just another tiny piece of who they are.

i’m praying that is exactly what they do.

and i’m ridiculously stressed about not having them here to help me this week with cakes and tiny people and meetings and appointments…and i worry about what will happen if Rea has a meltdown. or Bryce is uncomfortable with not knowing his roommates. or Laine is excluded from the company of the girls she thinks of as her best friends. there are things i’m praying so specifically for each of them to discover this week…and i have no choice but to completely depend upon God’s plan for them while they’re there (when it’s all you can do, you pray. and it’s all i can do). i’ll admit my hopes are high. i barely slept last night thinking about all of it. i’m sure they each forgot something important…i haven’t packed for camp in a while, hehe. but i’m sure that they are well cared-for. i know that God is there. i know that their potential is limited only by their willingness to surrender to Him.

and i’m praying.

and i miss them like woah. already.