All Is Grace

lest anyone think that because i’ve been posting so often lately, i must always have deep, deep thoughts which may eventually become blog posts…

…i am not thinking deeply today. actually, i’m maybe not thinking at all.

(yeah, right.)

i need days like that, though. and those days… they are few and far between. have you ever tried forcing yourself not to think deeply??

it’s sort of an exercise in futility. i mean, if you have time to force yourself to not think deeply, it’s probably because you actually have time to think deeply. and since that happens so infrequently…why wouldn’t you take advantage of it?

some days…i just can’t.

these are the days i sometimes make lists. long ones. lots of them. i skim over the surface of all of the things on my mind and identify them. or, that’s what i do when i get conscious about it. sometimes i wind up with a “what’s really stressing me out right now” list. and an accompanying “the stuff i can actually do something about” list.

that list is usually depressingly short.

and sometimes i wind up with…nothing. a few more rows crocheted. a movie checked off my “want to watch” list. a loaf of banana bread on the table, and one in the freezer. sometimes it’s not nearly that productive. that ecard going around about “what did i do all day? i kept the kids alive and the house from burning down.” or something to that effect. yeah.

that day.

my today.

a two-loads-of-laundry-one-baby-fed-and-played-with-one-tween-boy-sledding-with-friends-two-big-kids-content-with-their-lazy/busy-vacation-day-three-pairs-of-sweatpants-hemmed-for-my-father-in-law-and-supper-on-the-table-when-my-husband-gets-home kind of day.

that’s going to have to be enough.