oy. i ate it tonight.
it was in the form of a text message. sent in response to another text message. one in which i was…snide. at best. and even though i could have easily justified it, you know what happened?
it nagged at me. it tore me up.
33 words. exactly enough to shove my foot in my mouth and prove that i wasn’t who i say i am.
have you had those moments?
knowing you have to apologize when you’ve completely screwed up? yeah. totally sucks. waiting for a response you know you won’t get…also sucks.
there are so many ways i have grown in the past year. things i have figured out about myself. if i accuse someone else of selfishness, i have to be able to say that i am not selfish, right? yeah. i totally am. that one really sucked too. if i claim that my kids are more important to me than anything else…that has to be true. i’m working every day to make sure it is. if i claim not to be obsessed with my weight and my workouts…i have to be healthy about it. every day. if i say i trust God to provide for my kids and me even when my checkbook against my budget completely freaks me out…I actually have to rest in it. that is a brutal lesson. i’m still working on it.
hehe…i wish there wasn’t more. there is.
i’ll talk about more of it eventually. tonight, i’m working through a bit of heart burn.
and no…it’s not acid reflux.
All Is Grace 